In the bleak midwinter. The shared complicity of our shitty Christmas. Shitmass. Merry Shitmass. And a great pestilence had fallen on the land; who’d have thought that the end times would be so mundane? It’s so cold, it’s like the cold if you were dead, and this place reminds me of Santa’s workshop, except it … Continue reading From Contagion to Self-Isolation: A Christmas Covid Carol.
It’s been quite the year for Rudy Giuliani. First his haunting, eerily convincing portrayal of sex pest Rudy Giuliani in that hard-hitting Borat drama, followed by his lead role in screwball comedy Four Seasons Total Landscaping, in which he plays idiot lawyer Rudy Giuliani, manically barking out baseless election-rigging conspiracy theories during a press conference … Continue reading The End is the Beginning is the End. Or Four Seasons Total Landscaping
Now that we’ve defeated Covid-19 by – *checks notes* – pretending that we’ve defeated Covid19, we’re off to our next existential crisis, in which we mobilise platoons of Billy Brownshirts to protect our statues from rampaging hordes of imaginary Antifas armed with grappling hooks and bits of string. And don’t worry too much if … Continue reading Gladrags and Body Bags. Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The ‘Rona.
So; how we all doing? Teaching yourself to play the clavichord in all that unforeseen free time we have? Cowering in a cupboard at the prospect of visiting the supermarket? Preparing for another game of Russian roulette in the care home you work in? Or maybe you’re lying in a mass grave on Hackney Marshes, … Continue reading Postcard from a Pandemic